Episode Transcript: S1E1: Let go and Power up with ‘The Let Them Theory’ by Mel Robbins

[00:04] Hi and welcome to Read, Reflect, Rise, where we explore words of wisdom from wonderful

[00:10] authors, invest in our personal growth and explore different ways to centre ourselves

[00:14] in this wonderful but oh-so-busy chaotic life.

[00:18] I’m your host, Will Struthers-Cooper, a teacher, wellbeing coach and one of your cheerleaders

[00:24] on this adventure of discovery.

[00:26] In every episode, we’ll explore the wisdom of an amazing author.

[00:30] They could be a wellbeing expert, a researcher, a meditation teacher or a pioneering thought leader.

[00:36] You know, those really lovely-hearted folks out there whose words bring us insights and

[00:41] tools that invite us to transform our thoughts, nourish our spirits, nurture ourselves or

[00:46] connect more deeply with our inner calm through the very heart of their words.

[00:51] Today’s show is brought to you from the mind of a motivational speaker whose work centres

[00:55] on personal choice and empowerment.

[00:58] Together we’ll reflect on her words.

[01:00] I’ll take you on a guided, mindful moment inspired by the energy of those words and

[01:05] the podcast will end with a simple yet mightily powerful affirmation inspired by the work

[01:10] that you can carry with you throughout the rest of the week.

[01:13] So, take a deep breath, get comfortable and let’s begin to read, reflect and rise together

[01:20] for the very first time.

[01:28] Today we’re diving into a powerful lesson from Mel Robbins, one that has been a huge

[01:32] game changer for so many people that it’s even become a tattooing trend.

[01:37] It’s called the Let Them Theory.

[01:40] If you’ve ever found yourself drained by people’s opinions, stung by their words,

[01:45] hurt by their choices or stuck in a frustrated loop about something that someone else is

[01:50] doing or saying, then this one’s for you.

[01:53] Because, sometimes, the best thing we can do, as Mel says, is just let them.

[01:59] Mel’s become a huge name in personal development but her path has been one of resilience and

[02:03] reinvention.

[02:04] She started out with her family in financial crisis and decided motivational speaking was

[02:09] a game for her.

[02:10] How’s that for gumption and get up and go?

[02:13] As her career developed, we’ve been gifted the TEDx talk, How to Stop Screwing Yourself

[02:18] Over, the 5 Second Rule and her podcast, The Mel Robbins Show, which we absolutely love

[02:24] in our house, by the way.

[02:26] Mel is the master of taking complex psychological concepts and turning them into accessible

[02:31] practices and tools.

[02:33] And then they become global movements.

[02:35] She is magic.

[02:37] Today, we’re dipping into her latest book, The Let Them Theory.

[02:41] This book challenges us to release the need to control others and instead focus on our

[02:46] own growth, happiness and power.

[02:50] It’s time now to immerse ourselves in a page from The Let Them Theory.

[02:54] Let’s settle in to embrace the wisdom and warmth of Mel Robbins, a woman dedicated to

[02:58] empowering each of us to live our most authentic and fulfilling lives.

[03:03] I’m jumping straight into Chapter 5.

[03:07] If you’re reading along at home, it’s page 87.

[03:13] Because everybody has critical opinions about people they love, as well as total strangers,

[03:18] it is a fact of life.

[03:20] Embrace it and accept it.

[03:22] Instead of trying to change reality, start using it to your advantage.

[03:28] Let them.

[03:29] Here’s another truth.

[03:31] Just because someone has a negative opinion doesn’t mean they feel negatively about you

[03:36] as a whole.

[03:39] I can think a bad thought about my husband and still love him and treat him with so much

[03:43] respect and kindness because two things can be true at once.

[03:48] You can be annoyed by the way someone is acting and still love them to death.

[03:53] This is how you feel about the people you love.

[03:56] You think your friends are bad influences.

[03:58] You think they’re overreacting.

[03:59] You think their boyfriend treats them poorly.

[04:02] You think their business idea is going to fail.

[04:04] You think they’re self-centred.

[04:06] But you still love them.

[04:08] My point is simple.

[04:10] Adults will have negative opinions about you and everything you do.

[04:14] Let them judge.

[04:16] Let them react.

[04:18] Let them doubt you.

[04:20] Let them question the decisions you are making.

[04:23] Let them be wrong about you.

[04:25] Let them roll their eyes when you start posting videos online or you want to rewrite the manuscript.

[04:29] For the 12th time.

[04:32] I think she’s talking about herself there.

[04:35] Instead of wasting your time worrying about them, start living your life in a way that

[04:39] makes you proud of yourself.

[04:41] Let me do what I want to do with my one wild and precious life.

[04:46] This approach is liberating because right now you are living your life and making decisions

[04:51] trying to anticipate what everyone is going to think.

[04:56] When you let the fear of what people might think dictate your choices, you limit your

[05:00] potential and hold yourself back from pursuing what you truly want.

[05:05] It’s the reason you procrastinate, doubt yourself, get paralysed by perfectionism and most importantly,

[05:12] it’s why you wake up every day and avoid the work that would actually help you get ahead.

[05:19] You are so afraid of judgement, you don’t take any risks at all.

[05:23] Isn’t that what you’re afraid of?

[05:26] That you’ll be judged?

[05:28] That if you get divorced or quit the real estate business or go back to school or cut

[05:33] your hair or try out for the soccer team and get cut, everyone will have an opinion about it?

[05:39] Of course they’re going to have an opinion about it.

[05:42] So what?

[05:45] This stupid fear is stopping you from trying new things, taking risks, being yourself and

[05:51] making the small moves that, over time, will change your life.

[05:56] How sad.

[05:59] The let them theory will help you be more courageous.

[06:04] Doesn’t it seem smarter to accept reality and give people the freedom to judge you?

[06:10] You can’t control what someone thinks, so there’s no reason why you should be afraid

[06:16] of it or allow it to stop you anymore.

[06:21] Your time is way more valuable than that because you’ve got important things to do with this

[06:26] one wild and precious life.

[06:29] Starting today, you are going to grant people the freedom to think negative thoughts about you.

[06:36] Let them.

[06:38] Let them, let them, let them.

[06:40] Isn’t that so powerful?

[06:43] Ooft, and it hits hard.

[06:47] Let’s take that hard hitting energy and turn it into medicine.

[06:54] Allow yourself to feel your feet beneath you, to feel supported by what you stand or sit

[07:00] or rest against or on.

[07:06] Feel your stomach and the circle of your ribs expand as you breathe in.

[07:12] Allow yourself to exhale slowly.

[07:17] Breathe in again.

[07:23] And exhale.

[07:26] On your next exhale, I want you to picture someone or something that you’re ready to

[07:36] let go of.

[07:37] It might be a voice from your past, it might be the face of someone, it could be a feeling.

[07:46] Something that you’ve been holding on to that isn’t helping you, that isn’t serving you.

[07:55] It’s time to say enough.

[07:59] And I want you to put that picture, that word, that phrase, that feeling on a little cloud.

[08:11] Just park it on a little cloud that you can see in your mind’s eye.

[08:17] And next, when you gently exhale, allow that little cloud to be caught in your breath.

[08:28] And it’s going to float just slightly further away.

[08:32] And as it floats slightly further away, you notice that it’s shrinking and getting smaller.

[08:41] It’s not going away, it still exists.

[08:46] But it’s smaller now and quieter and the colours are fading from it.

[08:53] The intensity of it is reducing.

[09:00] And you’ll notice you still have feelings and emotions linked to it.

[09:06] Allow them to flow through your body, but allow them to drain down out through your seat or your feet.

[09:15] Ground them as you move your feet.

[09:20] Allow them to flow into the earth.

[09:28] Allow yourself to breathe safe in the knowledge that the power, these things previously held over you, are now turned down.

[09:44] You’ve made the choice to let them go a little further away.

[09:53] Breathing in and breathing out.

[10:00] Let them exist.

[10:07] Let yourself exist free of them.

[10:15] And come back to your centre, to your breath.

[10:22] Allowing your ribcage to expand.

[10:28] Allowing a sigh of release.

[10:33] Maybe even a yawn of relaxation.

[10:42] As you settle into the space that’s now free around you, within you.

[11:00] And if your eyes were closed, you can slowly open your eyes now.

[11:06] You might want to move your fingers or move your toes.

[11:11] Perhaps you’ve been moving this entire time.

[11:23] And as you move into your day, I want you to repeat to yourself a simple affirmation.

[11:31] One inspired by the Let Them Theory and Mel’s work.

[11:37] One that takes the feel and the energy and the purpose of this powerful book and encapsulates it into a phrase.

[11:50] We already have the simplicity and the power of Let Them.

[11:58] I invite you to use that.

[12:00] And if you want more power and more energy behind that, if you want to really rise up in that feeling,

[12:07] repeat this affirmation to yourself.

[12:10] Write it on a post-it note.

[12:13] Put an alert on your phone.

[12:18] I let go of believing others are in charge of my life.

[12:25] I am stepping into my power.

[12:34] I let go of believing others are in charge of my life.

[12:41] I am stepping into my power.

[12:50] I let go of believing others are in charge of my life.

[12:55] I am stepping into my power.

[13:04] I invite you to use the power of words to help you rise up today, this week.

[13:12] The Let Them Theory is a powerful book.

[13:16] Let Them is a powerful theory, a powerful concept.

[13:21] Use my affirmation as you see fit.

[13:24] Remember affirmations are meant to uplift and empower you, to help you grow, to help you let go of things.

[13:34] If at any point in time it feels a bit prickly or tangy, lay it aside. It may not be for you.

[13:40] But remember you can always tune in next week for a new one.

[13:45] Thank you for spending this time with me on Read, Reflect, Rise.

[13:48] I hope today’s episode brought you insight, calm and renewed sense of connection to yourself and the world around you.

[13:56] If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to share it with a friend who could use a moment of stillness and inspiration.

[14:03] Remember to subscribe for more chances to read, reflect and rise with me.

[14:08] And if today’s author resonated with you and you intend to buy or gift a book, please support your local bookshops where possible.

[14:15] And if you’re not feeling flush, be a patron of your local community library.

[14:19] Do keep an eye out for my upcoming giveaways and competitions, which will most likely feature, you guessed it, books.

[14:26] For more tools and resources and links to the books mentioned, visit www.readreflectrise.com.

[14:32] That’s www.readreflectrise.com.

[14:36] Click on the link in the show description and it’ll take you there.

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[14:46] If you’ve gained something from this episode, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

[14:51] Your feedback not only means the world to me and helps me improve, but it also helps others find tools for growth and healing.

[14:57] And remember, as you move through your week, you carry the power to create one breath, one pause and one choice at a time.

[15:13] Until next time, I’m Will Struthers-Cooper, reminding you to take a moment to be so you can reflect and rise.

[15:21] Go well, take great care of yourself and remember, there is magic, medicine and power in the words we weave and wield.

[15:37] Click on the link in the show description and it’ll take you there.