S1E12 Shonda Rhimes Year Of Yes

Generated: 2025-07-04

Full Transcript

[00:01] Hi folks and welcome back to Read, Reflect, Rise. The heart-nourishing space where pearl [00:06] for words meets presence and where healing, inspiration and growth can rise from the page [00:11] into our lives. [00:13] I’m your host, Will Struthers-Cooper and today we’re saying yes. Yes to discomfort, yes to [00:18] joy, yes to being seen in all of our messiness, yes to that fuller, truer you that you keep [00:25] meeting in your dreams. [00:27] This episode dives into the year of yes by The Shonda Rhimes. A woman who gave us Grey’s [00:33] Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder and more importantly gave herself permission [00:38] to live boldly outside of the script that she’s been living in for years. [00:42] If you’ve ever struggled with saying no too often or hiding behind busy or safe, this [00:49] one’s for you because sometimes the bravest thing that we can do is throw it all to the [00:55] pull up our big kid pants and say yes. [01:05] Shonda Rhimes is a legend in television, a creator, producer and writer whose characters [01:09] have transfixed a generation. In Year of Yes we meet a very different version of Shonda. [01:16] This is not Shondaland Shonda. This is a Shonda who realised that while she could write Strong [01:22] Woman, while she was a Strong Woman, running a company and raising a family, but her strength [01:28] just wasn’t in living happily. [01:30] This is a memoir but it’s also so much more. In my view it’s a guidebook. A guidebook [01:36] from someone who seemed to have it all and then learned how to lean in and start actually [01:42] enjoying what she had. [01:44] After her sister bluntly told her once, you never say yes to anything, Shonda embarked [01:51] on a transformational year. A year of saying yes to every opportunity that scared her, [01:56] pushed her, cracked her open and helped her grow. She said yes to interviews, to her body, [02:02] to play, to rest, to her children, to saying no to things she hated, which means she said [02:10] yes instead of no to the things that she hated and ultimately she said yes to all of her [02:17] A yes year or a yes date is not a new concept. Danny Wall says yes man predates year of yes. [02:23] Shonda Rhimes isn’t the first person to do this or write a book about it. But wow. [02:30] What a journey. What an amazing writer she is. What a huge heart she has. She took the [02:36] year of yes and she blew the bells right off of it. [02:40] This book isn’t a shiny self-help cliche. It’s honest, it’s fierce, it’s messy, it’s so truthful [02:47] and it’s a joyful reclamation of life. If you need a trailblazer of vulnerability to [02:53] lead and inspire you to shake off a life that has been growing too small, you’ve got Shonda [02:59] Rhimes right here today. [03:02] In this extract she’s said yes to doing a commencement speech, which is a very American [03:08] thing where you’re graduating from university, you’ve got your degree and someone gets invited, [03:15] sometimes alumni, sometimes someone famous. In this case she’s both. And this is explaining [03:22] the process that she’s going through just before saying yes to doing this speech. She’s [03:26] actually there, she’s ready to go. This was one of the first things she said yes to in [03:30] her year of yes and now it’s the reality of it. If you haven’t watched the commencement [03:34] speech, I highly recommend it to you. There’s lots of talking about pooping pants. [03:39] Okay, here is Shonda’s words. [04:04] The freezing panic of stage fright will hit me. The tsunami will hit me. But it never [04:11] does. I am nervous. I am scared. But that is all. The next few hours are a whirlwind. [04:21] Photos, gowns and caps, shaking lots of hands, waves of nostalgia. And I keep waiting for [04:28] the attack of nerves that usually renders me useless, that causes me to become a sweaty [04:34] pile of hyperventilation. I wait as we march to the stage. I wait as I, along with others, [04:42] am bestowed with my honorary PhD. I’m still waiting when President Hanlon introduces [04:48] me and shows me the way to the podium. I step up to the podium. And then something completely [04:58] special occurs. If you watch the video, you can see the moment it happens. I’m standing [05:05] at the podium. I look out at the crowd. I take a deep breath in. I’m still waiting for [05:11] it. The fear, the panic, the nerves. I’m almost asking for it, searching for it, looking around [05:18] for it. It must be here somewhere. But when I stare out into that crowd of graduating [05:24] students in their green caps and gowns, all I see is me. 20 years ago, I sat in those [05:34] chairs in that crowd in a green cap and gown, just like them. I recognise them. I know them. [05:43] That look on their faces, their eyes filled with uncertainty. And I understand that the [05:50] fear, the panic, the nerves I am searching for will not come for me today. It has come [05:58] for them. The fear they are suffering about what lies ahead is far greater than anything [06:05] I will ever be feeling. And suddenly, I am okay. I am no longer afraid to talk to them. [06:13] I am no longer afraid to stand there alone at the podium for 20 minutes and be honestly, [06:22] vulnerably myself with them. Because once upon a time, I was them and sometime in their [06:29] futures they will be me. Whatever I’m going to say is not for me. It isn’t for the outside [06:37] world. It doesn’t matter how people react to it or judge it. I’m not talking to anyone, [06:42] but these graduates sitting in front of me. This is just for them. And so I exhale. You [06:51] can see it. If you watch the video, you can see me exhale. You can see the very last instant, [06:59] the very last moment, the very last breath of my fear. From that exhale forth, I am [07:07] someone new, someone comfortable, someone unafraid. My body relaxes. I smile. I settle [07:18] into my soul. And for the very first time in my life, I stand on a stage and raise my [07:25] voice to the public with full confidence and not an inch of panic. For the first time in [07:33] my life, I speak to an audience as myself and I feel joy. How’s that for someone with [07:52] stage fright? How’s that for saying yes to life and overcoming obstacles? That’s joy. [08:04] That’s bravery. That’s courage. And I think we all have somewhere in our life where we [08:12] could use a little bit more of that. We might be the bravest person in the world to the [08:17] side world, but we all have something that scares us that we doubt ourselves about that [08:27] we wish we maybe could overcome. Perhaps it’s because we want to do something new or end [08:33] something old. Perhaps we want to change. Perhaps it’s something small. Perhaps it’s [08:39] something big. Let’s go inwards and find out. Get yourself sitting or standing or moving [08:50] comfortably. Here we go. Taking a breath in and a breath out. Perhaps lifting up your [09:10] shoulders on your next in breath for an exaggerated inhale and allowing your shoulders and your [09:18] tension to come out on the exhale. Perhaps a little noise if you’re somewhere you can [09:25] make a noise. Allowing your ribs to expand in a circle all the way around your body. [09:39] Breathing into your back, breathing into your front, breathing into your sides. And if your [09:46] mind is focusing elsewhere, using your body to help bring you groundedness and presence, [09:53] holding onto something with your hands, pushing into something with your toes, rocking your [09:59] pelvis and returning to the breath again. And a sigh or an exhale. I’d like you to [10:15] imagine that you’re sitting on the beach or a riverbank. You’re looking out at water [10:23] and the water is moving. It’s coming and going or it’s traveling along, doing its [10:28] own thing. And in that river are the different thoughts that can pop into your head. Some [10:37] of them are fleeting, some of them are tenacious. But we’re sitting on the edge. We’re not [10:44] in the water. We can see them. We can let them dance in the current, be pulled by the [10:58] We can step back onto that shore, shake the water off and rest again for a moment. Tuning [11:09] back into our breath, into our body. Every time we notice a little thought that appeals [11:17] to us that we want to touch. We’re all going to get our fingers wet grabbing for different [11:22] thoughts. We might even get wet up to our knees waiting out for different thoughts, [11:27] but we can choose to let them carry on down that river along with those waves back out to sea. [11:38] Welcome. Welcome to sitting on the side of your mind, observing your thoughts. You’re [11:58] in your moment. This is your moment. And if you had no fear whatsoever, if nothing was [12:11] holding you back, what would you like to say yes to? Don’t worry about getting an answer. [12:20] Just let that question drop in and watch all of the different thoughts that come up. [12:30] What would you say yes to? You might have one thing bubble up. You might have lots of [12:45] little things. It might be sleep. It might be coffee. It might be climbing a mountain [12:51] or travelling halfway across the world. It might be a new job. It might be minimalism. [13:03] It might be adventure. It might be a fresh start. In this space, you’re in your moment [13:17] and we can say yes to almost anything. And while we’re here, I want you to pick one [13:31] of the things that popped up for you. One of those ideas that while you’re sitting [13:40] here, sharing this moment that you think feels a little out of reach, but wow, it would be [13:53] great. Grab hold of that thing. Let yourself step into it in your imagination. Start small [14:10] What are you wearing? How does your body feel? How do your shoulders feel in this moment [14:21] when you’re saying yes to this thing? How does your head feel? What’s your facial expression? [14:32] And if you look around, what do you see? Is there a task or an activity that you’re [14:40] doing? You might find yourself moving your body slightly closer into that position. Perhaps [14:51] one of repose or readiness. Perhaps you find yourself taking up a little bit more space. [14:59] You might find yourself shrinking smaller. Choose which one. Choose which one you want [15:10] to follow. Remember in this space that you are safe, this is your imagination. You can [15:20] say yes to anything. Now take a moment to watch the film of this moment where you say [15:34] yes to something that feels a little bit too far away right now, but it’s becoming [15:39] tangible. It’s becoming real. This is you firing up the parts of your brain that can [15:51] imagine this. This is you living a yes. This is you living a yes. This is you living a [16:04] yes. And take everything that you’re imagining and gather it up. You might even want to move [16:09] your arms. You might shape it into something that it represents. It might be a colour. [16:15] It might be an item. And I want you to place that somewhere safe into your heart. This [16:25] is a yes that’s for you. You’re safe here. And this dream, this yes can stay safely in [16:34] your heart until it’s ready to bloom. But today we’ve started the path. Holding that [16:48] close into your heart, knowing that you can come back to it at any point in time and that [16:53] the more often you do come back to it, the stronger and the louder and the brighter it’s [16:59] going to become. Allowing yourself to sit back on that seat by the water. Watching [17:11] your thoughts. Feeling your feet. Feeling your hands. Allowing a small lift to the sides [17:23] of your mouth if it feels like a fit. Feeling present and opening your eyes. Welcome back. [17:46] I hope you have the tiniest part of a stronger yes starting to brew inside you. And I hope [17:53] you feel the need of you. Remember folks it’s not about becoming someone or something else. [18:06] It’s about removing the noise of everyday life. Bypassing the fear or acknowledging [18:15] the fear moving forward with it. It’s about removing the people pleasing, the rush and [18:21] chaos and becoming more you. Saying yes isn’t about doing more and more things until you [18:29] eventually burn out. It’s about breaking out of the patterns that we’ve had. It’s about [18:35] noticing where things have been squeezed and noticing where things are about to bloom. [18:43] We put our focus onto it, we practice that yes, we imagine, we visualise and it’s coming. [18:50] It’s about choosing aligned action over automatic avoidance. It’s about choosing your voice, [18:57] your joy, your purpose, even if your hands are shaking. And here is your affirmation [19:04] to help build on that this week. I let go of patterns and choices I’ve outgrown. I [19:27] say yes to change, growth and freedom to be fully me. Yes, yes, yes. I let go of patterns, [19:44] I let go of patterns and choices I’ve outgrown. I say yes to change, growth and freedom to [19:54] be fully me. Yes, yes, yes. I let go of patterns and choices I’ve outgrown. I say yes to change, [20:10] growth and freedom to be fully me. Yes, yes, yes. I am feeling that one deep, deep down. [20:23] This has been a big book for me. It’s really made me look at a lot of things. This wasn’t [20:30] one that I’d read before, this was a new one to me that I started just about a week and [20:36] a half ago now. And it’s taken time for me to process. There’s a lot of patterns and [20:43] choices that I have outgrown. And I’m choosing to say yes. I hope you do too. So you’ve got [20:52] your affirmation, you can repeat it, write it, sing it, let it rise up through you. Remember [20:58] if you get on the mailing list you will always get these sent through with the latest episode. [21:04] Thank you folks for listening to this episode of Read Reflect Rise. I am so glad that you’ve [21:10] chosen to show up for yourself, for our hearts and for your next yes. If this episode resonated [21:17] please hit follow, leave a review or share it with someone else who’s ready to rise. [21:22] We all need yeses and you can help someone reach theirs today. You could also head to [21:29] ReadReflectRise.com to sign up for my weekly newsletter to get access to the free resources. [21:35] And remember folks, there is magic, medicine and power in the words that we weave and wield. [21:42] Take care of yourself. Until next time, let’s say a big yes to rising.