Episode Transcript: S1E14 - 14: The Power in the Shadows – Inspired by Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers

Generated: 2025-07-05

Full Transcript

[00:01] Hey there, perfect soul. I’m Will Struthers Cooper and this is Read Reflect Rise, the [00:08] podcast where we explore the healing power of words, drink from the wisdom of well-being [00:13] pioneers and tune into truths that can stir something deep inside. [00:19] If you’re here, chances are that you’re curious. Not just about personal growth, but about [00:25] becoming more you. You’re in the right place. [00:29] Each week I read a nourishing excerpt from a transformational teacher, then guide you [00:34] through a reflective moment, something you can carry into your day, your week, your heart. [00:41] We finish with an affirmation, a mantra that grounds, soothes or ignites you and helps [00:51] you rise. [00:53] Today’s episode is one I’ve been wanting to share and now it’s time. It’s bold, it’s [01:00] brave, it’s dark. It’s all about shadow work and it’s inspired by Debbie Ford’s powerhouse [01:09] book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, reclaiming your power, creativity, brilliance [01:16] and dreams. Let’s begin. [01:19] Debbie Ford was a bestselling author, coach and spiritual teacher known for making young-inspired [01:25] shadow work accessible and transformational. Her work lives on through the Ford Institute [01:31] and the body of her writing, especially this landmark book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. [01:37] In this book we’re invited to do the unthinkable, stop running from our flaws, fears and failings. [01:48] And instead turn towards them with curiosity, with compassion, with courage and maybe even [01:56] a teensy weensy little bit of love. Because our shadow isn’t our enemy, it’s the part [02:02] of us that’s most desperate to be seen, healed and fully integrated. [02:09] This book when I read it changed the way I viewed myself. It softened up my self-judgment [02:14] and self-criticism and helped me reclaim parts of myself that I kept locked up in a box labelled [02:20] bad bits that I must hide away. This isn’t for the faint-hearted, so if you’re in a place today [02:27] of needing tenderness, you might want to hit pause and get a cup of tea, check in with yourself and [02:33] see if some gentle care from Martha Beck or my Garmar and Neff compassion superheroes early in [02:38] the season is a better fit for you today and return to this later. But if like me you’ve been [02:44] busy this week finding yourself butting up against parts of your personality that are starting to wind you up a bit [02:49] or maybe hold you back or maybe your mini-me keeps butting up against parts of your personality [02:55] that’s grating harder than cheese, then you’re with me in Debbie Ford today. Come along. [03:01] So if you ever found yourself wondering why did I react like that or why do I keep sabotaging myself, [03:08] this is the one for you. Let’s read Debbie’s words. [03:13] Chasing down the shadow. [03:17] Just before I begin folks, take a deep breath. [03:21] Chasing down the shadow. The shadow wears many faces. Fearful, greedy, angry, vindictive, evil, [03:34] selfish, manipulative, lazy, controlling, hostile, ugly, undeserving, cheap, weak, critical, [03:52] judgmental. The list goes on and on. Our dark side acts as a storehouse for all these unacceptable [04:02] aspects of ourselves. All the things we pretend not to be and all the aspects that embarrass us. [04:10] These are the faces we don’t want to show the world and the faces we don’t want to show ourselves. [04:17] Everything we hate, resist or disown about ourselves takes on a life of its own, [04:24] undermining our feelings of worthiness. When we come face to face with our dark side, [04:32] our first instinct is to turn away and our second is to bargain with it to leave us alone. [04:40] Many of us have spent vast amounts of time and money in an effort to do just that. Ironically, [04:48] it’s these hidden aspects we’ve rejected that need the most attention. When we locked away those parts [04:56] ourselves we didn’t like unknowingly, we sealed away our most valuable treasures. [05:03] These valuables are therefore hidden where we would least expect to find them. They’re hidden [05:08] in the dark. These treasures try desperately to emerge, to come to our attention, but we are [05:16] conditioned to push them back down. Like giant beach balls being held underwater, these aspects [05:23] pop back up to the surface whenever we take the pressure off. By choosing not to allow parts of [05:30] ourselves to exist, we are forced to expend huge amounts of psychic energy to keep them beneath the [05:38] surface. Poet and author Robert Bly describes the shadow as an invisible bag that each of us [05:48] bags. As we’re growing up, we put in the bag every aspect of ourselves that is not acceptable to our [05:56] families and friends. Bly believes we spend the first few decades of our lives filling up our bags [06:06] and spend the rest of our lives trying to retrieve everything we put in our bags in an effort to [06:13] enlighten our burdens. Most people are afraid to confront and embrace their darkness, [06:21] but it is in that very darkness you will find the happiness and fulfillment you’ve been longing for. [06:29] When you take the time to discover your whole self, you’ll open the door to true enlightenment. [06:36] One of the biggest pitfalls of the information age is the I know that syndrome. [06:44] Knowing often prevents us from experiencing through our hearts. Shadow work is not intellectual. [06:52] It’s a journey from the head to the heart. Many on the path of self-improvement believe they have [07:00] completed the process but are unwilling to see the truth about themselves. [07:05] Most of us long to see the light and to live in the beauty of our highest self, [07:11] but we try to do this without integrating all of ourselves. We can’t have the full experience of [07:17] the light without knowing the dark. The dark side is the gatekeeper to true freedom. [07:24] Each of us must be willing to continually explore and expose this aspect of self, [07:30] whether you like it or not. If you’re human, you have a shadow. If you can’t see it, [07:36] just ask the people in your family or the people you work with. They’ll point it out to you. [07:43] We think that our masks keep ourselves hidden, but whatever we refuse to recognize about ourselves [07:49] has a way of rearing its head and making itself known when we least expect it. [07:55] Embracing an aspect of yourself means loving it, allowing it to coexist with all of your other [08:02] aspects, not making it more or less than any other part of yourself. It’s not enough to say, [08:09] I know I am controlling. We must see what controlling has to teach us, what gift it brings, [08:15] and then we must be able to view it with awe and compassion. We live under the impression that in [08:23] order for something to be divine, it has to be perfect. We are mistaken. In fact, the exact [08:32] opposite is true. To be divine is to be whole, and to be whole is to be everything, the positive [08:41] and the negative, the good and the bad, the holy man and the devil. When we take the time to discover [08:47] our shadow and its gifts, we will understand what Jung meant by the gold is in the dark. [09:01] The gold is in the dark. Take that in. Listen to it again if you need to. [09:08] Feel it, and let’s journey into what this could mean for you. [09:16] If you’re standing, sitting, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, [09:21] I invite you to rest into that pose or going into a practice. [09:34] Pressing down on the soles of your feet, perhaps moving [09:41] around slightly, or moving around a lot if you’re like me. You may want to stretch, [09:49] you may want to move, you might want to shake some of that off. This is shadow work, this is dark, [09:56] this can feel heavy. Take it in small steps, but for now give your hands a little shake out. [10:01] Perhaps wiggle your toes, move your shoulders, maybe even move a little bit, move into a sambha [10:08] if you feel like it, or slouch back. Dealing with the dark can energise us and it can drain us, [10:17] sometimes both at the same time. This is a safe space. [10:25] You maybe have your brain working away, commenting on things, trying to find which [10:31] aspects of yourself you don’t like. Let it go, let it flow down that river. [10:38] Place your hand on your heart, we’re heading into the heart. [10:45] Hand on your heart and apply gentle pressure if you feel you need it. [10:50] Allow yourself to breathe into that space, [10:55] and exhale. [10:56] Ah, breathing in, and exhaling. [11:07] If you have any more movement, shakes, jitters you want to release, allow yourself to do that [11:14] at any point. Bring your focus into your chest, down further into your stomach, [11:27] to your hips, your seat bones. [11:33] Perhaps tightening and releasing some of your major muscles, [11:37] your glutes, your quads, your calves, curling up your toes and releasing them. [11:44] While still gently pressing on your heart area. [11:53] And a breath in to expand the rib cage all the way around. [11:59] And allow your breath to settle, to do whatever it wants to do. [12:09] You are here, you have arrived. [12:16] You are in your heart, you have dropped into your body. [12:25] You are grounding yourself with your feet or your seat, maybe even your hands. [12:33] Allow this body, this amazing vehicle, to rest. [12:41] Any tension you feel, softens ever so slightly. Perhaps some of it melts, perhaps some of it stays. [12:54] All is fine. [12:59] Noticing your breath, moving your body in and out, up and down. [13:11] Noticing any sounds you hear. [13:19] And if it feels safe to do so, allowing one word that you have accused yourself of being, [13:29] one word that you fear you may actually be, to pop into your consciousness. [13:40] And you may feel resistance, you don’t want to be that thing, you don’t want it to be true [13:46] that you are that thing or that quality. You don’t want to remember the incidents where that quality [13:54] has arisen. We’re going to let go of that resistance, we’re going to sit with curiosity instead. [14:03] You might want to give a form or a shape, [14:07] to this personality aspect. [14:14] And I want you to picture yourself walking up to it. [14:20] Well hello there. Whatever personality aspect is, it might be laziness, [14:27] it might be greed, it might be bitchiness, it might be anything. [14:36] You’re walking up to it and embracing it with curiosity. [14:41] You’re just looking at it, perhaps stepping back if it feels tangy or painful. [14:50] This is part of you. This has always been part of you. [14:57] And you’ve been carrying it around in that great big bag of burdens on your shoulder. [15:06] But today we’re inviting it out into a little spotlight. We’re looking at it from all sides. [15:20] Maybe we’re giving it a prod [15:24] or a little touch, seeing what it’s made of. [15:30] Maybe there’s some memories linked to it. We don’t need these just now. [15:35] We can acknowledge them and let them slide by. [15:42] Today is about saying hello to this part of yourself that you’ve believed you can get rid of. [15:54] We’re sitting and accepting that this part of your personality exists. [16:04] And that it is okay. [16:12] You may feel some shame arising. Some but I don’t want to be. [16:20] Or maybe some parental voice or carer voice in your head telling you it’s not good. [16:30] Well this is you right here right now listening to my voice, looking reality in the face. [16:41] You are human. You have a dark side, a shadow side. There are flaws. [16:53] But they’re not really flaws. [16:56] They’re what makes you human. They’re what makes you divine. [17:04] They’re what makes you whole. [17:12] And if you feel it’s a fit, you can put your hand out to embrace that aspect of your personality [17:18] and invite it into your heart. Your whole heartedness, your compassion, your care, [17:27] and your love for yourself grows. [17:35] Because to be able to love yourself, to be able to love any part of yourself, [17:43] is to love all of yourself. [17:49] Placing both hands on your heart if you can safely do so. [17:56] Allowing that expansion, that acceptance, that newness of saying yes, sometimes I am [18:06] this aspect of my personality. [18:11] And I am a whole human being and I can love that about myself. [18:29] And allow this change to settle. [18:36] You may wish to whisper some compassionate words to yourself, some kind words. [18:45] Perhaps you’re still viewing this aspect of your personality as a being. [18:51] Perhaps you have some words for it too. [18:56] I see how you bring me pleasure. [19:00] I see how sometimes I need you in certain situations. [19:05] I see you take care of me in some situations. [19:11] I know that you are not the entirety of my being. [19:15] You are one aspect of a whole, full, well-rounded personality. [19:23] And there is space in my heart for you. [19:31] Allowing yourself a sigh as you settle with this new, expanded feeling and feeling. [19:39] That is inside of you. [19:43] Perhaps rubbing your fingers together. [19:48] Massaging this heart space. [19:53] Or perhaps shaking once again off your fingertips any feelings that need a little bit of movement. [20:03] Breathing in and breathing out your whole being, your whole self. [20:16] Knowing that you can return to your heart space. [20:22] Return to see gifts and give thanks and accept yourself again and again. [20:34] Now moving your feet, perhaps moving your hands, your seat. [20:41] Slowly and gently opening your eyes. [20:46] Setting an intention to be kind to your whole self. [20:59] When we run from our shadows, those traits, memories, reactions or desires that we just don’t want to claim, we unknowingly just give them more power. [21:14] What you resist insists. [21:15] But when we face them, we begin to unravel the shame, the guilt, the resistance and move into a path of acceptance. [21:31] Debbie’s words remind us that healing isn’t about becoming better, brighter or more perfect. [21:37] It’s about becoming whole and realness. [21:40] And that wholeness includes the light and the dark. [21:46] That’s where authenticity lies. [21:48] That’s where wholeness thrives. [21:55] Personally I’ve found that some of my biggest breakthroughs have come not when I tried harder to be good or happy, [22:04] but when I gave myself permission to be real and to truth tell and have clarity with ugly tears and snot running down my face, accepting life as it really is and accepting myself as I really am. [22:24] And here’s your affirmation this week for rising. [22:28] Revisit this when you feel you need to. [22:35] I welcome every part of myself into wholeness. [22:42] I hold my whole self with kindness and celebrate the gifts hidden in my shadow. [22:51] I welcome every part of myself into wholeness. [22:56] I hold my whole self with kindness and celebrate the gifts hidden in my shadow. [23:04] I welcome every part of myself into wholeness. [23:10] I hold my whole self with kindness and celebrate the gifts hidden in my shadow. [23:21] Repeat it to yourself. [23:22] Write it in your journal. [23:24] Whisper it when you notice old patterns resurfacing. [23:27] Let it be an anchor when you’re feeling emotionally triggered or feeling judgemental or self-critical. [23:36] Allow yourself to unravel. [23:41] Look at your whole self. [23:45] And stand firm, knowing that you are stronger for shining light into the dark. [23:55] Thank you all so much for joining me for this brave and pretty beautiful episode. [24:01] If this has sparked something for you, do take a moment to sit still, give yourself grace, allow yourself space to breathe and be. [24:13] You are meeting parts of yourself you have not met in a long time, at least not willingly. [24:21] And if you think others could rise with us, please do take a moment to rate and review the show. [24:28] You can find the affirmation from today’s episode, plus reflection, prompts and updates, over on my website at www.readreflectrise.com or through the link in the show notes. [24:39] Share this episode with someone who might be wrestling with their own shadows right now. [24:44] They’re not alone and neither are you. [24:47] Please do remember, there is magic, medicine and power in the words that we weave and wield. Choose wisely. [24:56] I’ll see you next week for some more reflection and rising. [25:00] Until then, be gentle with your shadows.