Episode Transcript: S1E17: The Big Leap: Upper Limits & Living in Your Zone of Genius
[00:00] Welcome back to Read, Reflect, Rise. I’m your host, Will Struthers-Cooper, and this is your space for deep-hearted words, inner stillness, and the gentle courage it takes to rise.
[00:14] Each episode, I read a powerful excerpt from a beloved book in the wellbeing or personal development space, reflect on its meaning for our real messy lives,
[00:23] guide you through a short meditative moment and offer a mantra or affirmation for you to take with you.
[00:30] Whether you’re walking the dog, fresh out of the boardroom, feeding a baby or carving out five rare moments of calm, you are in the right place.
[00:39] Today’s episode is one that I was needing. We’re diving today into The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix,
[00:45] a book that’s changed how thousands of people think about success, fear and the hidden ceilings we hit when things get too good.
[00:55] We’re in the realm of hope, fear, limiting beliefs and occasional self-sabotage. Oh yeah, let’s go there today.
[01:06] Gay Hendrix is a psychologist, speaker and the founder of the Hendrix Institute.
[01:10] For over four decades, he’s helped people and companies break free of the self-sabotage that happens when they expand into new levels of joy and success.
[01:21] In The Big Leap, he introduces a core idea that we all have something called an upper limit problem or an ALP,
[01:30] a built-in thermostat that keeps our success, love and happiness set at a safe level.
[01:37] If we start to exceed that level, through growth and joy, wealth, health, connection,
[01:44] we subconsciously sabotage ourselves to bring things back down to familiar territory, to a lukewarm life.
[01:52] But Hendrix doesn’t leave us there. He invites us to make a radical shift,
[01:57] to stop operating from our zone of competence or our zone of excellence and instead start living in what he calls the zone of genius.
[02:06] That sacred, unique-to-you space where your true gifts live. The place where you feel inflow and just oh so right.
[02:16] This book isn’t just about career growth, although it is very good for that.
[02:21] It’s about expanding your capacity for happiness, visibility and trust in life.
[02:27] It’s about letting yourself have the life that you say you want.
[02:32] And I guess also being worthy of it, feeling worthy of it.
[02:37] Let’s hear his own words.
[02:42] And this is when he’s just starting to formulate the theory about upper limits.
[02:51] I remember almost dancing with excitement as I applied this insight to different parts of my life, such as relationships and health.
[03:03] Once I saw the pattern, it became obvious how it worked.
[03:07] I would enjoy a period of relationship harmony, then stop the flow of connection by criticising or starting an argument.
[03:15] The upper limit problem showed up even in my eating habits.
[03:20] I would eat healthy food and get plenty of exercise, feeling great for several days in a row.
[03:27] Then I’d go on a weekend binge of restaurant food, wine and late nights that would leave me feeling dull and bloated.
[03:35] The pattern was simple. Enjoy a period of feeling really good, then do something to mess it up.
[03:43] I also realised that the same pattern had a grip on the world at large.
[03:48] As humans we would enjoy a period of peace, then plunge into a war, we’d create a time of economic expansion, then go into recession or depression.
[03:59] Everywhere I looked I saw evidence of the pattern.
[04:03] Eventually I reigned in the wild horses of my imagination and focused on the key step every researcher begins with.
[04:11] Stating the problem to be solved and the question to be answered.
[04:17] The problem.
[04:20] I have a limited tolerance for feeling good.
[04:24] When I hit my upper limit I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad.
[04:31] The problem is bigger than just my internal feelings though.
[04:37] I seem to have a limited tolerance for my life going well in general.
[04:43] When I hit my upper limit I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory.
[04:50] I get into a conflict with my ex-wife, get into a money bind or do something else that brings me back down within the bounds of my limited tolerance.
[05:03] The problem looked much bigger than my own small version of it.
[05:08] Our species in general had grown accustomed to pain and adversity through millennia of struggle.
[05:14] We knew how to feel bad.
[05:17] We had millions of nerve connections devoted to registering pain and we had a huge expanse of territory in the centre of our bodies dedicated to feeling fear.
[05:29] Certainly we had pleasure points in various places too but where were the mechanisms for ongoing natural good feeling?
[05:38] I realised that we were only recently evolving the ability to let ourselves feel good and have things go well for any significant period of time.
[05:51] Ooft. Take a breath on that.
[05:58] That hit hard. I herded myself in that. You might be feeling that too in which case do keep breathing please.
[06:07] When reading this book you’ll find yourself asking questions like, is this an upper limit? Am I acting out fear?
[06:20] You might find yourself asking questions like, where am I playing safe because it feels familiar, not because it’s aligned with what I want?
[06:29] Where am I sabotaging joy because it’s unfamiliar, uncomfortable?
[06:34] Is it okay to let life feel this good?
[06:39] Hendrix reminds us that we’re often afraid not of failure but of our own success expansion, our own light, our own genius.
[06:51] We so often pick up stories about ourselves that aren’t true or only once were true.
[06:58] And real growth, real expansion, that’s something that we’ve yet to experience.
[07:05] It’s something for us to lean into, to step into and every time we level up we can level up again.
[07:14] Growth and life and expansion, it’s not a cha-cha-cha, it’s not one step forward, two steps back.
[07:19] It is possible to revisit old things, it is possible to revisit past times.
[07:29] But each time we have an opportunity for growth, we have an opportunity to learn, we have an opportunity to go, this is where I’m excellent and now I can step into genius.
[07:52] Let’s now go into our meditation.
[08:04] Placing your feet flat on the floor, applying pressure, perhaps rocking your pelvis forward and back or rolling your shoulders,
[08:16] centering your head, finding out if you’re leaning forward or leaning backwards, finding your midpoint and allowing yourself to settle.
[08:27] And if it’s safe to do so, you may want to close your eyes.
[08:38] And taking some breath into our bodies, allowing our ribcage to expand, allowing our breath to exhale.
[08:54] Perhaps breathing in for the count of four and breathing out for a count of five or six.
[09:08] Counting in again and counting as you exhale.
[09:16] Allowing your out-breath to slightly lengthen, so it’s a beat or two or maybe even three, longer than your in-breath.
[09:35] And this is a meditation where we’ll drop in questions, allow thoughts to arise without becoming attached to them.
[09:44] And if we notice ourselves becoming attached to them, we bring ourselves back to the moment, back to our breath, back to the question.
[09:57] So firstly asking ourselves, where am I sitting in my comfort zone?
[10:14] Allowing your ribcage to fill with air, perhaps placing a hand onto your chest or your cheek, somewhere comforting and nourishing for you.
[10:34] Where am I settling in my life?
[10:45] Allowing breath to fill your chest, exhaling any feelings that arise.
[11:01] Now imagine that you’re coming home.
[11:08] You’re walking to your door and this door, this is the door of your dreams.
[11:13] You’re walking into your house.
[11:15] You’re unlocking the door, stepping inside into this home, into this house.
[11:23] It’s everything you ever dreamed of.
[11:28] You’re walking inside.
[11:30] What do you see?
[11:34] What things represent your life?
[11:36] Maybe something to do with your work, one to do with your family or your social life, hobbies, projects, community things.
[11:56] Looking around, what do you see in this dream house?
[12:08] This life that is the life you’ve always wanted to lead?
[12:13] This life that you have always wanted to lead?
[12:26] And if you can see some objects, I’d like you to pick one up.
[12:37] Perhaps it’s a name tag with your dream job title on it.
[12:42] Perhaps it’s a souvenir from somewhere you’ve always wanted to go to.
[12:48] Perhaps it’s photographs.
[12:53] Perhaps a trophy, a medal.
[12:57] Perhaps a book that you’ve always wanted to write.
[13:04] Perhaps it’s some flowers in a vase that you’ve grown in your own garden.
[13:16] And cup this thing in your hands.
[13:20] Turn it over.
[13:22] Really feel the textures and the edges.
[13:26] Perhaps there’s a scent.
[13:30] Look at the colours of it.
[13:36] This represents part of your dream life and you’re holding it in your hands.
[13:48] Focusing on that feeling.
[13:53] Add some breath to it, some vitality.
[13:58] And if any thoughts or buts I cannot, life will not arise.
[14:05] Acknowledge them and let them flow away.
[14:09] That was the voice of an upper limit.
[14:19] Now taking that thing in your hands, pressing it to your heart.
[14:34] A place where the dream for a future you can thrive and be nourished.
[14:43] And find yourself somewhere in your dream home.
[14:48] Somewhere to rest.
[14:50] Perhaps a gorgeous armchair looking out over a beautiful view.
[14:59] Perhaps it’s a huge comfy bed.
[15:04] Look at a gorgeous duvet nest with pillows.
[15:10] Perhaps it’s lying down on a beautifully varnished wooden floor on cushions staring up at a gorgeous window.
[15:27] This is you resting beyond your limits.
[15:37] This is the risen you.
[15:42] Fully expanded, taking up space.
[15:46] You have stepped beyond your limits.
[15:50] You are in your zone of genius.
[15:54] And you are thriving.
[16:03] Now placing your feet upon the floor in your dream world and in your present world.
[16:13] Applying some pressure.
[16:17] Moving and clasping your fingers.
[16:20] Opening your eyes when it feels a fit.
[16:25] Knowing that you carry what you saw within you.
[16:48] So my affirmation for you this week.
[16:54] It is safe to expand.
[16:58] I am allowed to feel wonderful in all areas of life.
[17:05] I am ready to rise.
[17:09] It is safe to expand.
[17:14] I am allowed to feel wonderful in all areas of life.
[17:20] I am ready to rise.
[17:24] It is safe to expand.
[17:28] I am allowed to feel wonderful in all areas of life.
[17:33] I am ready to rise.
[17:38] Let that be a whisper, a chant, a mantra you write on your mirror or a quiet truth you write in your journal or heart this week.
[17:47] Take time to let it sink in.
[17:49] Take time to let the objections arise.
[17:53] Time to acknowledge them and let them flow away.
[18:01] And do get yourself a copy of the Big Leap to find out what Gay Hendrix’s own mantra is that he recommends to everyone.
[18:08] I’ll pop it into the newsletter as well.
[18:13] Thank you all so much for being here with me.
[18:16] If this episode stirred something in you, please consider taking a moment to pop a word or two of review for Read, Reflect, Rise on Audible, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get to your podcast stream.
[18:31] It helps this medicine reach more people who need it and it brings me closer to what you’re needing to hear for next time.
[18:39] You can also join my free weekly resource emails to explore episodes, my mantra based practices and mini reflection sessions.
[18:47] You can get that at willstrutherscooper.com or by clicking the link in the show notes.
[18:54] I invite you to share this episode with someone you know is ready for their Big Leap.
[18:59] Remember folks, there’s magic, medicine and power in the words that we weave and wield.
[19:04] Choose wisely.
[19:06] Until next time, be gentle to yourself and make space to rise.
[19:13] I’ll see you again soon.
