Episode Transcript: S1E8: Turning Fear into Fuel for Transformation with Beyond Anxiety by Martha Beck

[00:02] Hey lovely ones and welcome back to Read Reflect Rise. I’m Will Struthers-Guper and this is [00:09] your weekly sanctuary for medicinal words, gentle wisdom and soulful resets. Whether [00:15] you’re tuning in during a walk, pausing in your day, travelling across the city or curled [00:20] up with a cuppa, I am so glad you’re here. This podcast is a soft space to reconnect [00:27] to your breath, your body, your truth and to the deeper voice within. If you’re new here, firstly [00:36] welcome. You are so welcome. I see you and I’m glad you’re here with me today. Here is what we do on [00:44] Read Reflect Rise. Each episode I choose an excerpt from a heart-led author, someone whose [00:50] words have helped me and countless others navigate messy and magical chaos of every life. I’ll read [00:55] from their work, we’ll reflect together and I’ll offer my rise affirmation so you’re ready to rise [01:01] into your week. So, oh let’s take a deep breath and dive in. Today we’re exploring the transformative [01:11] work of Martha Beck. She’s a best-selling author, a life coach, sociologist and a well-known wise [01:16] woman. You might know her from Finding Your Own North Star or The Way of Integrity but today we’re [01:24] exploring her from her latest book, Beyond Anxiety. I was excited to hear this was being released. [01:30] I’ve revisited Finding Your North Star again and again. Martha Beck has a really human and [01:36] connecting way of storytelling and that book’s given me concepts that helped ground me through [01:41] some life-changing decisions. I do love a good life-changing decision and even if the rest of [01:47] the world looks at me askew, I never regret one. With bouts of anxiety during my pregnancy and [01:54] postpartum and panic attacks in my teens, I was eager to hear her take on one of the most common [01:59] challenges to mental health. She doesn’t hang back and we wouldn’t want her to, would we? We’re [02:05] repeatedly asked if we’re willing to step beyond the ordinary and beyond anxiety. I’ve been in the [02:10] self-development game for a couple of decades now and this book has floored me a couple of times [02:15] with some big aha moments. I just had to do an episode on it. Martha’s really excellent at writing [02:22] with the wit of a truth-teller and the compassion of someone who’s definitely been in the trenches [02:26] herself. In Beyond Anxiety, she offers a pretty soulful reframe of what anxiety really is. It’s [02:33] not just a diagnosis or a nuisance but an important message from the self to ourself. She challenges [02:39] the idea that we always need to suppress or fight with anxiety and instead invites us to befriend it, [02:45] to decode how it speaks and to grow with it or from it. And here’s the passage I want to share [02:53] with you today. This progression beyond anxiety and into your inborn creative genius is a continuing [03:03] process. As long as you have a normal human brain, you also have the capacity to slip back into [03:11] anxiety. But as you learn the concepts and skills laid out in this book, it will get easier and [03:17] easier to calm the frightened creature in your brain and liberate your creative side. Every time [03:25] you do this, you’ll move into greater heights of inventiveness, adventure and exhilaration. [03:31] All of this may generate a brand new, funny feeling that you will carry with you everywhere. [03:38] Even when confronting a world of chaos, destruction, anger and threat, you’ll feel a bloom of calm that [03:47] ripples outward into creativity, connection and joy. You’ll learn to work with your own mind and [03:54] heart the way a sculptor works with clay, the way a musician composes songs. Everything you do will [04:00] contribute to your most important artistic creation, your own life. And as you construct [04:07] your own best life, you may just change the world. But before we begin, as you learn to use the ideas [04:16] and processes suggested in this book, swapping your anxiety for joyful creativity, you may start [04:23] to seem peculiar to the anxious folks around you. These people may watch you with furrowed brows, [04:29] blank stares and the occasional critical comment. Learning to live beyond anxiety is one of the best [04:36] things you’ll ever do for yourself, your loved ones and the world. But it may not be the easiest. [04:43] Here are some questions I’d like you to consider right now. If the answer to any of them is a flat [04:48] no, it’s okay. Read through the book or maybe just lie down for a while and see if the answers change [04:56] as your anxiety goes up. When you’re really, truly sick of feeling anxious, you may decide that the [05:04] challenge is worth taking. Are you prepared to question the conventional wisdom of our culture [05:13] so deeply that you physically shift the grey matter in your head? In other words, develop a brain that [05:21] doesn’t quite fit in with society. Can you accept that abandoning anxiety may cause you to think and act [05:32] in ways that are compassionate and creative but unusual, ways that the people around you might find [05:40] incomprehensible? Do you have the will and courage to shape all your actions according to what emerges [05:50] from your inherent originality rather than from anything you’ve ever been taught? [05:58] Think carefully about these questions. Living beyond anxiety is a gentle art. In fact, [06:05] it will teach you the paradoxical truth that gentleness is extraordinarily powerful. But in [06:12] this world, being gentle can require a lot of grit. I don’t want to scare you. You’ve spent enough [06:19] time being scared. I just want you to know that living beyond anxiety, like any radical art, [06:26] is counter-cultural. It will definitely take you out beyond the conventional wisdom of our society. [06:33] No one can predict what you may do then. I can’t promise you that it will look normal. I can only [06:40] tell you that it will take you to the unimaginable joy of your best destiny. Still in? Let’s do this. [06:55] Allow yourself to settle. Take a breath in, a breath out. Observe the quality of your breath. [07:07] Notice the placement of your body. If you’re moving, notice how you’re moving. [07:13] Notice the weight changing from foot to foot or hand to hand. [07:20] The heaviness or the lightness of your head on your neck. Any tightness or tension in your shoulders. [07:30] And if you have one hand free, bring it to your heart. [07:36] Allow your eyes to close if it’s safe to do so. [07:40] And in that heart cavity, I want you to imagine there’s something in there that needs soothing. [07:48] It may be an animal or a small creature as Martha suggests, or it could be a part of yourself that [07:55] you can spot or describe or just feel the essence of. And I’d like you to say some soothing words [08:04] into that heart space of yours, to the creature, to that part of yourself. [08:11] Something soothing. It could be words or it could even be a noise. [08:15] There, there. There, there. [08:24] You’re safe. I’m here with you. [08:32] I see you. [08:37] I know you’re scared. [08:45] You’re safe. [08:50] And acknowledging [08:53] this being inside of you, this part of you. [08:59] Allow it to be without trying to change it. [09:05] With your words or your sounds, with your hand. [09:13] Your aim is to soothe, to calm, to accept. [09:20] I soothe, I calm, I accept you. [09:29] And allow yourself to breathe into that space, into that compassion. [09:38] And allow it to extend to all of you. Say to yourself, I see you. You’re safe. [09:50] I’m here to help soothe you. [09:54] You’ve done enough. [09:58] You can rest now. [10:03] I’ll keep you safe. [10:13] And it may be that you feel resistance in your body. [10:17] Perhaps it feels lovely. Perhaps there are tears. [10:22] Perhaps it feels too jaggy for just now. That’s okay. [10:26] All feelings are valid. [10:32] But know that the soothing, the calming [10:37] is a practice. [10:41] And you will find your own words, your own sounds, [10:48] your own way to hold this part of you and your own way to hold yourself. [10:54] With kindness, with compassion. [11:07] And when you’re ready, allow yourself to think of one thing [11:14] that will feel free and flowing and creative. [11:21] It could be putting on some music and dancing. [11:26] It could be getting out some pencils and drawing. [11:30] It could be standing and waving your arms around. [11:37] It could be standing, staring at the sky. It could be absolutely anything. [11:42] It could be as awkward and strange, [11:48] unimaginably peculiar. [11:52] Whatever you feel called to do, this is your permission to do it. [11:59] You’re ready. [12:03] Next up is some affirmations. [12:07] Or you could pause now and take that time for yourself and come back to this later. [12:11] It’s up to you. [12:19] What I love about Martha’s words is how they reframe anxiety as that doorway we see so often, [12:27] symbolised in literature, a doorway, a transition, a scared little friend, not a dead end, [12:33] a launch pad. [12:35] So often we meet anxiety with panic, resistance, shame or fear. [12:40] But if we meet it with curiosity, maybe even appreciation, [12:44] it can guide us to something important and alive within us that is getting ready to spread its wings. [12:54] One of my takeaways, when anxiety hits, it doesn’t mean we’re breaking. [13:01] It means we’re becoming ready. [13:05] And oh, are you ready? [13:08] So on that note, here’s a ready to rise affirmation. [13:13] To hold close, chant or write down somewhere this week. [13:18] This is anxiety. [13:22] I breathe safely in this space. [13:26] This is anxiety. [13:29] I breathe safely in this space. [13:33] Anxiety doesn’t limit me. [13:36] It opens me to life as it can be. [13:48] And lastly, I trust the wisdom beneath my worrying. [13:54] I am creating something new. [13:58] I trust the wisdom beneath my worrying. [14:02] I am creating something new. [14:05] Repeat them as often as you need. [14:08] Maybe write it on a mirror or a notebook. [14:10] [14:10] Note on your phone. [14:11] Whisper it to yourself when doubt creeps in. [14:15] Let it anchor you and have faith and trust that you will grow and life will change. [14:20] And know that affirmations are there as a support. [14:23] For as long as they are a support. [14:25] You know yourself best. [14:27] Listen to your needs. [14:29] Change tack if you need to. [14:33] If today’s words stirred something in you, I’d love for you to take a moment to rate and review this podcast. [14:40] It really helps others to find it and it means so much to me. [14:45] You can also share it with a friend who might need this message today. [14:48] And if you’re not already on the email list, head to the link in the show notes. [14:52] I share bonus journal prompts, these affirmations and behind the scenes thinking for each week as well as links to this amazing book. [15:00] And remember you beautiful folks, there is magic, medicine and power. [15:05] In the words we weave and wield. [15:08] So pick your thoughts, words, readings and writings wisely. [15:13] Take what you need, leave what’s not a fit and rise gently.